A child's awareness of being a boy or a girl starts in the first year of life as they become conscious of the physical differences between girls and boys.
Prior to their third birthday they are able to identify their gender identity as they develop a strong sense of self. By the time they enter kindergarten, that gender identity is well established.
However, that gender identity is not always congruent with their physical anatomy.
| Children In Their Own Words | An Interview with Kim Petras |
Some children express themselves in ways that are traditionally masculine or feminine, while others may be tomboys (not an insult) or "sissies" (most definitely an insult). Some children are androgynous. The majority of children (regardless of their gender expression) have a gender identity that corresponds with their assigned sex... and they grow up to reflect the diversity of gender expression that we see throughout society.
For transgender or gender non-conforming children, conflict may arise when their sense of who they are doesn't correspond with their own body, or with the gender signals they receive from parents, caregivers, teachers and culture.
Transgender children fall into basically two categories with additional sub-categories:
APPARENT: Children whose parents, caregivers, teachers or other adults know to be trans
Apparent Supportive: Those with at least one parent or caregiver who accepts and supports the child as they are.
Apparent Neutral: Those with parents or caregivers who know they are transgender, but are non-committal or passive in their support this.
Apparent Non-Supportive: Those with parents or caregivers who are aware their child is, or may be transgender and who either reject, deny or obstruct support for that aspect of their their child's identity.
NON-APPARENT: Children that no one else knows to be transgender
Non-Apparent Aware: The child knows, on some level, they are "not really" a boy or a girl, may know the word transgender and knows they are not alone.
Non-Apparent Unaware: The child knows, on some level, they are "not really" a boy or a girl but does not have a "name" for it and believes they are the only one like them.
Many of us don’t think much about our gender, although it affects us constantly.
Imperceptible guidelines dictate:
Along with those come judgments; we may think we know what a “real man” is, and believe we can tell exactly what a “real woman” is.
Transgender people break away from one or more of society’s expectations around gender:
What about those whose gender identity does not fit neatly into traditionally and narrowly defined gender roles?
Society has a concrete way of dealing with people who do not conform to these expectations. It attempts to force them back into place, to keep them in the "man" category or the "woman" category. May transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth struggle with feelings of shame and self-doubt as a result of being confronted with these pressures to conform.
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How the media oppresses, exploits and influences
public perception of trans children & youth
1:250 children are transgender or significantly gender non-conforming1
Suicide is the #1 cause of death for transgender youth.
82%+ of transgender children/youth ideate suicide.2
(This percentage is greatly reduced when they are
supported and accepted by their families)
Transgender children are not confused about their gender identity. Those around them may not understand... but the children know who they are.
Transgender children are not mentally disturbed or disordered. They are simply children, being themselves in a culture that is at times intolerant and ignorant of gender non-conformity.
It is not the same as wanting to be a fireman or a princess or a Mutant Ninja Turtle
It is not negotiable
It is not a useful indicator of future sexual orientation
It is not a choice
It is not caused by outside influences, single parenting or lack of religious faith
It is not a mistake or any less authentic than gender conforming identity or expression
It is not a mental illness or indicative of a "confused" child
If you are the parent of, or know a transgender or gender non-conforming child or youth, it's possible you may be thinking about the very concept of gender identity in a completely new light. Perhaps you are examining the way in which you developed a sense of yourself as a man, woman, boy, girl or someone who doesn't fit 'neatly' into a gender category.
Whatever your conclusions or questions may be, it's important to understand that everyone develops an internal sense of what our gender identity is in the same way; at some point (usually by the age of three or four) we just "know" that we are a boy or a girl or, sometimes we experience ourselves as non-gendered altogether.
Those who move through that process and end up feeling that their gender identity more or less matches their assigned birth sex and physical anatomy are cisgender. Because there is no inherent conflict between these two things, most cisgender people never really give their own gender identity a second thought.
Children and youth who do not experience their gender identity in a way that matches their assigned birth sex, physical anatomy or social and cultural expectations may be gender non-conforming and in some cases, transgender. They may experience what is known as Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID).
NOTE:
Some therapists and others will interpret the 'D' in GID as meaning "Disorder". Do NOT accept this categorization of your child or youth by anyone. This results in unnecessarily 'branding' a child or youth as 'defective' in some way.
Sex refers to biological status as male or female. It includes physical attributes such as sex chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, internal reproductive structures and external genitalia.
Gender is a term that is often used to refer to ways that people act, interact, or feel about themselves, which are associated with boys/men and girls/women. While aspects of biological sex (as described above) are the same across different cultures, aspects of gender may not be.
Though transgender or significantly gender non-conforming identity in childhood is uncommon, it is not as rare as some might think, nor is it as rare as certain segments of the psychological community have routinely reported.
Since 1973, many within the medical and psychological community have clung to a flawed statistical analysis that suggested transsexual identity (transsexual and transgender are NOT interchangeable terms) occurred in 1:30,000 male-bodied people and 1:100,000 female bodied people. These erroneous "statistics" have been quoted in countless APA publications and newspapers and only serve to further isolate trans-identified children, youth and their families from mainstream society, medical care and equality.
These prevalence estimates (based on the number of post-operative trans adults in a given population) ignore a more nuanced and inclusive perception of what constitutes gender non-conforming and transgender identity. Most importantly, they completely ignore what is "ground zero" for most gender non-conforming and transgender people... childhood.
Professor Lynn Conway at the University of Michigan has done extensive, contemporary research on the prevalence of transgender identity across the spectrum of gender non-conformity and her statistical analysis indicates that for male-bodied individuals, the ratio is ~1:500 and quite possibly, ~1:250 births. This is nearly 100 times the number published by the American Psychiatric Association in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV (DSM-IV-TR).
Note: The prevalence statistics for female-bodied/male identified children is less well known. One of the reasons for this may be due to the greater leeway female-bodied children are given with regards to their gender expression ('tomboy' is not a put-down). This is not to minimize the authenticity of gender non-conformity and trans identity in younger, female-bodied/male identified children.
By comparison, consider the prevalence of other long-term conditions that have profound impacts on children's lives.
Muscular dystrophy is 1:5000
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is 1:1000
Cleft lip/palate is 1:1000
Cerebral palsy is 1:500
Blindness is 1:350
Deafness is 1:250
All of these conditions are high on our society's radar screen and there is massive public empathy for those who suffer from them. There are large research funds available for studying and treating these conditions, and patients have welcome access to any existing medical treatments that might relieve such conditions.
Contrast those situations to intense gender non-conforming or transgender identity, which has an equally profound impact upon a child's life.
This culturally, clinically and politically misunderstood condition (when it occurs in children) is almost totally off society's radar screen. Access to effective treatment is out of reach for the vast majority of children even if they have supportive parents, and the wider medical establishment and social welfare community are unaware of the high prevalence and frequently tragic impact that being a transgender or gender non-conforming child can have when simultaneously stigmatized and left without support.
1. On The Calculation of The Prevalence of Transsexualism, F. Olyslager, L. Conway. 6 September 2007
2. Dean, L., Meyer, I.H., Robinson, K., Sell, R.L., Sember, R. et al (2000). Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender health: Findings and concerns. Journal of the gay and lesbian medical association, 4 (3), 101-151
