FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 3, 2008
Contact: Jenn Burleton, Executive Director
Phone: 503-252-3000
Email: jenn@transactiveonline.org
Website: www.transactiveonline.org
Dr. Phil McGraw: "Gender Confused Children"
Portland, Oregon, November 3, 2008 - It’s almost become de rigueur in daytime television for shows to have an episode devoted to transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth, so the TransActive staff wasn’t too surprised when we heard that the “Dr. Phil” show was planning to air such an episode. While initially optimistic the show might reach out to families that might not otherwise have the opportunity to learn about trans youth issues, we were, in the end, sorely disappointed.
From the beginning, Phil McGraw let his own bias regarding transgender identity in children run the show. Tellingly, the show itself was titled “Gender Confused Children,” an incredibly inaccurate and misleading characterization of the children TransActive represents. It is our experience that trans and gender non-conforming children are anything but confused about their gender, and that it is society’s refusal to meet them on their own terms that is the source of any confusion.
The show began by introducing Melissa and Tim, the proud, supportive parents of an 8-year old trans girl. Their family was an excellent example of just how successful trans children can be when supported by their parents, but this rosy picture was soon undermined by Dr. Phil’s relentless, dismissive questions and commentary. It’s hard to believe how someone could look at a happy, well-adjusted girl who has consistently and vocally identified as female for five of her eight years and lived as such for two, and still ask, “Are you sure?” Nevertheless, Dr. Phil did so repeatedly. Even more chillingly, when Tim and Melissa brought up the serious negative consequences of trying to force their daughter to be someone she is not, up to and including the vastly increased risk of suicide, Dr. Phil seemed to blithely brush these concerns away.
Next on the show was Dr. Dan Siegel, a new, but welcome resource to us here at TransActive. While we tend to be cautious in our endorsement of doctors and others in the medical profession, we were immediately impressed by his understanding of the issues. Not only was his understanding of gender and childhood development complex and nuanced, he was able to communicate his perspective in an extremely straightforward and comprehensible manner. However, Dr. Phil once again disappointed us by juxtaposing Dr. Siegel’s testimony with that of Glenn Stanton, an evangelical Christian ideologue from Focus on the Family. While Dr. Siegel was able to easily counter each and every one of Stanton’s arguments, even at one point demonstrating that the example Stanton was citing (related to the David Reimer case) actually disproved his own argument, Dr. Phil glossed over these errors and continued to present Stanton as an expert of the same caliber as Dr. Siegel.
The last guest introduced on the program was Mary, a mother whose teenage son identified as female from a very early age, but later recanted and chose to live as a male. While such cases are not unknown, they are almost always the result of the child caving to external pressures placed on them rather then a genuine shift in the child’s gender identity. For Mary’s son, this was almost certainly the case. While she initially supported him in his gender expression, she blamed herself for “encouraging” his behavior and her husband for not spending enough time with his son. In her own words, “I was allowing him to be what he wasn’t.” In the face of ever-increasing abuse at school and the beginnings of puberty, her son finally gave up and tried conforming to the standards set by society. While he claims to have resolved his gender issues and even “thinks of himself as straight,” his mother went so far as to say on air, “I don’t know if he’s being totally honest with himself.” For experts in childhood gender expression, such a story is an all too familiar example of how abuse, neglect and misinformation can conspire to force a child into hiding their identity from everyone around them, often either repressing such feelings for decades or turning to desperate measures such as self-harm and suicide. For Dr. Phil, however, Mary’s son was nothing but a convenient justification for his own biases against supporting children in their gender expression.
This show should prove a cautionary tale for any parents invited to be on a television program or news show highlighting transgender and gender non-conforming children. More often than not, these shows will be approaching the issue from a standpoint of ideological bias that may not have you and your child’s best interest at heart. No matter how poised, prepared, and confident you are, if the show’s host and producers film the show with an agenda in mind, then that is the agenda that will be reflected in the final broadcast. If in the future you are contacted about appearing on one of these shows, we suggest you do three things. First, do some research on the show in question. Have they covered this issue or similar ones before? Were the people on the show treated respectfully, or did the show exploit them and their stories? Second, contact an organization such as TransActive and consult with them on how best to proceed. We can often negotiate more effectively on your behalf than you could on your own. Finally, make sure you have a signed contract from the producers of the show stating exactly what you are going to be sharing on the air, and how the images of you and your family will be used. Such a contract will be your only defense against sensationalistic and negative portrayals once the show airs.
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TransActive educates the public on subjects useful to the individual and beneficial to the community. We provide necessary support to improve the quality of life of transgender and gender non-conforming children, youth and their families through education, services, advocacy and research.