Legal Disclaimer
All information provided is of a general nature and is not intended to address the circumstances of any particular individual or entity. Although we endeavor to provide accurate and timely information, there can be no guarantee that such information is accurate as of the date it is received or that it will continue to be accurate in the future. Further, there is no guarantee or representation that the information provided is applicable to the laws, statutes or policies where you live.

No one should act upon this information without first seeking appropriate and professional legal advice from an attorney familiar with both the facts in your particular circumstance and the local, state and federal laws, statutes and policies that may apply.

Acknowledgment:
Much of the following information comes from Randi Barnabee, an attorney who has worked directly with parents who have been persecuted for supporting their transgender or gender non-conforming child. Thank you!

Transition: First Things First

It is essential that you obtain competent legal counsel before attempting to accommodate your child's request for a gender transition. By competent we don't mean just licensed; the attorney MUST be either familiar with and supportive of those with gender identity issues OR at least willing to do what it takes to become sufficiently informed prior to undertaking legal action.

If your attorney does not have prior experience and is coming up to speed on the issue specifically for your case then he/se should not charge you for their time spent on the learning curve. If they insist on charging you for their learning experience then you should find another attorney; you probably won't have enough money to pay for their education.

Be clear you are not seeking permission from anyone to support your child's gender identity and/or gender expression. You simply need assistance doing it most effectively.

If you find it necessary to file a case (custody/visitation change, legal name change) have your attorney file it using a pseudonym instead of your child's real name for the sake of the child's interest in privacy. Not only is this just a naturally good idea, it also demonstrates that you are thinking of your child's best interests and are NOT making the application as a ploy to gain publicity or attention.

This will also demonstrate good faith, sound judgment and forethought on your part.

The information below may be extremely valuable with regard to protecting your self and effectively supporting your child. The inclusion of this information should not be construed as agreement with those who consider gender non-conformity a mental illness, or who believe a parent should have to prove the absence of mental illness simply because they love and support their transgender or gender non-conforming child or youth.

Your Papers, Please?

Be prepared to demonstrate your own mental health. You might undergo the MMPI-2 prior to initiating a gender transition for your child. The MMPI-2 can provide adversarial parties with a breakdown of your personality traits and quirks and help rule out any possibility that YOU are the one who wants the gender change and not your child. A court may order such tests and having them done in advance shows good faith on your part and that you don't have anything to hide.

Before initiating a gender transition or legal action related to your child's gender identity you MUST obtain diagnoses from at least two accredited (read: legitimate) therapists who have examined your child and who unequivocally diagnose gender identity dysphoria/disorder (GID). In the DSM-IV-TR, the ICD code for children is 302.6 and the code for adolescents is 302.85.

At least one of the therapists should a good deal of experience with childhood GID and methods for treating it. That therapist should also unwaveringly recommend allowing a gender transition (and possibly, a legal name change) as being in the best interests of your child. Ideally, you should have TWO such recommendations from independent therapists.

Beware of a referral to anyone who believes your child can be 'cured' of their gender non-conformity through "reparative" or "aversion" therapy, prayer, strict enforcement of gender stereotypes or any other psychological or misguided pseudo-spiritual quackery.
They will only serve to harm your child and perhaps your entire family.

Truth, Lies & Videotape

Be prepared to provide evidence to substantiate your child's persistent cross-gender identity and expression. This can be done in the form of photos, videos, audio recording, witness testimony, etc. In many cases your say-so is not going to be enough.

"...'mother blame' theories have negatively impacted mothering... it disempowers mothers from being supportive and effective allies for their gender variant children. Their protectiveness and unconditional love becomes translated into causal theories."

All The Right Moves

No matter how convinced you and your child may be about what the future holds for him/her, DO NOT SPECULATE about what you might do in the future regarding any form of hormone therapy or surgeries. In a parental custody or fitness hearing, others will seize upon that as 'proof' you are driving your child's desire for gender transition and eventually, a "sex change" operation.

Although you and your child may already be certain that transition is in the cards for the immediate future, you as the parent who are looking out for your child's best interests MUST remain open to the possibility that your child's GID will someday go away or reverse itself.

You should at all times make it clear that your primary concern is that your child be healthy and happy - whichever gendered path that may take - and that you will constantly evaluate your child's situation with the advice and assistance of qualified professionals.